Human Design

Snowy view from my BnB window and the RV/ Party Bus that picked me up from the airport filled with aspiring honest people from all over the world.

I have another powerful tool for self knowledge that has come into my awareness lately: Human Design.

Human design is a system for self-knowledge that has elements of Astrology, IChing, Kabala & Chakra systems, yet is it’s own unto itself.  I serendipitously purchased a book about how to read a Human Design chart back in October during a 99cent Kindle edition sale on metaphysical personal growth books.  I got my free chart and then started deciphering my type.  There are many different elements and variations between each individual, but there are 5 main types.  My type makes up about 20% of the population and from what I’ve read,  we only just started being on the planet in the late 1700s. 

I’m a Projector.  Projectors have the ability to channel other people’s work energy in powerful unsustainable stretches and to see deeply how others can succeed.  Though my type, when channeling other’s energy, can work circles around anyone, we are not designed to work in the way our culture proscribes and can burn out very easily, usually around 40 years old (though my first burn-outs began in my late 20s).  Another really interesting aspect of the Projector is that we are here to serve other people, giving us a propensity for leadership and vision, though we are usually only successful at helping others and ourselves if we are invited. 

Every type has a strategy and the Projector’s strategy is “wait to be invited”.  One of the common experiences for Projectors that is eerily familiar for me is having deep insight and clarity into another person, opening my mouth to share it, and either being ignored or pushed away… because I was not invited to share my wisdom.  I have been battling the bitterness of seeing people deeply and wanting to help and then, rather than listening to me and being grateful, people resent or ignore me.  Anyway… there is a lot to ponder here and I am very new in talking about it, but my essential point in this post is that I am not sure how to navigate Radical Honesty AND wait to be invited at this point.  I feel it is beneficial to everyone for me to not share my insights or offer my services unless asked, and yet I feel I have a lot of unexpressed thoughts and feelings, especially from the past when I was going around triggering others with unsolicited advice, and in-turn getting triggered myself for being misunderstood and unheard. 

I hope through the Radical Honesty workshop to “clean out” back logs of bullshit and bitterness.  I know this is going to change me forever and as I teeter on the edge of the unknown I am trying to create some certainty of what I’ll do, what I’ll decide, who I’ll be when I get through it.  This gritty mystery is beaconing me to ease into grace, allowing my path, my own unknown plan, to unfold in it’s own time.